A Series of Unfortunately Unfortunate Events

It's been two weeks since regular classes in school started, and all I can say is-well, I'm not really in good terms with the world, whatever the hell I did. I've been humiliated in school a lot of times that I don't feel embarassed anymore. I get low grades even if I really do know the answers. I can't concentrate on listening to my teachers. I became too insecure about the brilliance of my classmates and on how witty they were. I felt pressured by the competition, and conscious about my grades. I FEEL SO OVERSHADOWED....

One thing more, my pet died last Tuesday. It was so tragic. Me and my sister knew he was sick, but we still dared to hope that he will live. After school we headed to the grocery store to buy dog food and stuff like that, but as fate would have it, my mom was also there and saw us and told us the sad news. I felt terrible. The dog was young, and whenever I would think about him, I'd think about the chance, and the fact that he can't enjoy life anymore. And the fact that we haven't said goodbye to him. Oh, really, I know my nose is getting red now, but I don't think of dogs as dogs. I think of them as people. I still have another dog, because they were two. But still...it's just sad.

What is happening to me?

Back To School

Oh, finally, it's here again. First day of school, June 11, I found out that I was placed in the star section-crap and everything else. I'm being negative about everything since, but then I remembered that before school started I promised to myself that I will be optimistic. Besides, it's the only way I can take all these positively, right?

I gotta study though. Everything is pressuring. And, oh, yeah, I told myself that I will avoid pressures this year.

WANTED: AIR.

Tennis

I got my first tennis racket yesterday! Hats off to whoever invented tennis. Alright, so this tennis racket isn't branded or anything. It's also a cheap find. I doubt it is original. I'm giving too much away, but come on, I'd only try it out. Since I'm new to tennis, I don't want to spend too much money on it. Besides, I can always switch to a better racket, right? Right now I'd just like to test it. I do hope that this will come out good though-at least, it'll be worth half of what I spent on it. Better if more than half.

Ahh, that's all I wanna say. One week and three days left before school starts, what a pain. I'm gonna miss snuggling in my bed in the morning and watching TV the minute I wake up. And, oh yeah, watching anime shows on the computer everyday. D:

Well, that's how life is, I'll just have to carry on.

<--Kyou Kara Maoh, otherwise known as God(?) Save Our King! or Demon King From Now On! Looks pretty yaoi, huh? Well, I'm not the biggest fan of yaoi, but this is a hilarious show. :D Besides, it's not totally yaoi-for me, that is.

The Outing...and Everything Else.

->> Vampire Knight, my latest addiction.

I was off the computer for two days-well, a day and a half, to be exact. The whole family (yes, whole-not just father and mother and siblings-I meant that relatives are included) went to Calamba, Laguna (or where ever in Laguna) for an outing. Yep, an outing, this late, when summer's already at an end. Well anyway, its was an okay outing for me-ahh, what did I do? I spend the whole time drawing my manga and it's coming out good! My relatives sort of butted in, though. Told me I just went there to draw instead of swimming. Like I really wanted to join the outing in the first place. -_-

Anyway, the manga is seriously a 'work'. I've been struggling a lot, but it's still worth it! After all, hard work will pay off, right? And I've been thinking of trying to play tennis recently... it just sort of hit my mind. I've never played tennis before, just badminton. And now I really do want to try it out...XD

Yep, too much Prince of Tennis, you might say.

What can I do? :D

Purachina

This is the opening song for the third season of Card Captor Sakura. I DO NOT CLAIM TO OWN THIS VIDEO OR ANY RIGHTS ABOUT THE ANIME, for that matter. This video was made by vintageemo. Here are the lyrics to the song, with the English translation:

ORIGINAL LYRICS:
I'm a dreamer
hisomu PAWA-

watashi no sekai
yume to koi to fuan de dekite'ru
demo souzou wo shinai mono
kakurete'ru hazu

sora ni mukau kiki no you ni anata wo
massugu mitsumete'ru

mitsuketai naa kanaetai naa
shinjiru sore dake de
koerarenai mono wa nai
utau you ni kiseki no you ni
"omoi" ga subete wo kaete yuku yo
kitto kitto
odoroku kurai

I'm a dreamer
hisomu PAWA-

mada minu sekai
soko de nani ga matte-ite mo
moshimo risou to chigatte mo
osore wa shinai

tori-tachi wa kaze ni nori tabi wo shite yuku
kyou kara ashita e to

tsutaetai naa sakebitai naa
kono yo ni hitotsu dake no sonzai de aru watashi
inoru you ni hoshi no you ni
chiisa na hikari dakedo itsuka wa
motto motto
tsuyoku naritai

genkai no nai kanousei ga koko ni aru
kono te ni
(It's gonna be your world.)

mitsuketai naa kanaetai naa
shinjiru sore dake de
koerarenai mono wa nai
utau you ni kiseki no you ni
"omoi" ga subete wo kaete yuku yo
kitto kitto
odoroku kurai

ENGLISH TRANSLATION:

I am a dreamer...
With hidden power...

My world
is made of dreams, loves, and anxieties
But there are still things lying hidden
that I can't even imagine


Facing the sky, like all the different trees
I'm gazing right at you

I want to find my dream...I want to make it come true...
There is nothing that I can't overcome
If only I believe
Just like singing, just like miracles
"Feelings" can change everything!
Without a doubt...without a doubt...
It's almost surprising!

I am a dreamer....
With hidden power...

A world yet unseen
No matter what awaits me there
Even if it's not the ideal
I won't be afraid

The birds travel in the wind
On a journey from today to tomorrow

I want to tell you...I want to shout it...
This way people will see I'm for real...
But like a prayer...Like a star...
I'm a tiny light, but someday,
The light will be so much stronger...

The possibilities are endless here
From these hands..
IT'S GONNA BE YOUR WORLD..

I want to find my dream...I want to make it come true...
There is nothing that I can't overcome
If only I believe
Just like singing, just like miracles
"Feelings" can change everything!
Without a doubt...without a doubt...
It's almost surprising!

First entry.XD

Well, this is my first entry in my first and real blog. Yay! I pretty much think I suck in my first try though... after all, I'm a newbie. Well, I have to say that it's pretty exciting, even if I always thought that blogging isn't my thing before. I mean, I have my own private journals and I hell don't want my entries to be exposed for the whole world to see. I wanted privacy, of course! But now...well, blogging? Why not try it? I've been spending half of my days on the computer anyway.

Enough about the try-blogging talk. I want to make this entry at least an introduction of myself. I tried writing in the 'About Me' section in my profile but it only allowed 1200 characters, and I didn't think I could express myself well in 1200 characters. Geez, what's with the limit? I hate limits, and I had to explain something unexplainable. In this case, me.

So, let's go...

I won't be posting my real name here, of course. It'll work with my nickname. Call me Abby. Calling me 'Ayame' is PERFECTLY fine. XD That's my 'wish-this-was-my-name' name after all, haha. I'm a kid. I don't care how much of a kid you'd think of me, but I'm pretty sure I am. I won't tell my age but...I'm a kid. I can repeat that a hundred times or more but I just want people to believe that I'm a kiddddddddddddd. I am I am I am. I hope we have that down.

I'm a kid.

:P

Next thing you should know is that I'm a highly linguistic person. I guess that rooted from the fact that when I was three or something, I started reading and eventually started to like it. I always have this big need to correct people's grammar, even if I myself am not sure if I'm correct (I'm still confused on using 'on', 'at', and 'in'.). But anyway, words have been a big part of me since. It just sort of 'flows', you know?

You should also know that I'm really, truly, totally, cruelly into Japanese anime (and mangas. That's different.*wink*) I'm so addicted to it you could almost say I'm an unrealistic person, what with 1/3 of everything I do involving anime. I'm making my own manga, which has the same title as my blog ('Panda! Panda! A Series of Black And White'. Dunno, I just wanted something perky and catchy and I couldn't think of anything else so I resorted to that.) So that will tell you that I also like drawing.

Of course I also listen to music. (Oh, yeah, like you'd ever meet someone who doesn't listen to music.) I listen to a lot of kinds, but mostly rock and anime songs. I'm a big fan of bands like Paramore, Coheed and Cambria, Alesana, Nightwish, Greenday, The Used, Yellowcard, The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, Boys Like Girls, and the lot. In anime-oh, a LOT.

Another thing you should know-I'm a really obsessive person. I'm also very ambitious (urgh) that I always spend my time day dreaming and day dreaming and not doing anything to get it done in real life at all. I'm a real pessimist, so I'm a 'down' sort of person. That's just how I think about me. But, well, if this blog of mine will go as far as my readers would realize that I'm not really a pessimist, you can correct me and tell me I'm not a pessimist...(but not an optimist either. Maybe just somewhere in between....c:)

But of course, no matter how nonsense this would sound, my pessimism won't get in the way of my dreams (even if I just said it did). It just can't, right? I wasn't born for nothing. And definitely not for just daydreaming.

Alright, I know, I know, I know that this entry is crazy, and that no one really gets anything at all. I'm aware of that. But I did say that I am unexplainable, so...I am! Even words can't beat that fact.

Note: Haha. To anyone who saw that picture above and is still looking at it (If there is any). That's Ryoma Echizen from Prince of Tennis. XDXDXD I just thought that posting up a picture of me would be a little embarassing, and...well, my crush's pic isn't! Some of you might think crushing on anime characters is weird, but to otakus-it isn't weird. It's just what humans are about. We all have those stuff, don't we?